k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
operation harelip BJ is a go
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Never underestimate the power of titties
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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