I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
