Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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