Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
