I'm going to jail i love you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
