I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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