Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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