Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
