It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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