look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
