I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize