I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
