What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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