Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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