i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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