So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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