So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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