If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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