If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
