I love black thongs
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
