sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
