he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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