eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
