grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
