Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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