k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
