How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize