Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
