I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
