i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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