Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize