speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
