So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
