I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
