but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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