I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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