Your tits are I can't wait for
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
