youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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