I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
