NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
well you can't waste a boner
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
