so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
