Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
