do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
