wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
