Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
