I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
