I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
