i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
God, I missed his penis.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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