so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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