Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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