i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
