Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize