U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
