ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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