so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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