ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
