Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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