you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
