where am i from again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
