I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize