New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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