Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
