Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
