we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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