Can Purell be used as lube?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
