I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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