shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize