butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
