where does the pee come out of this thing
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize