these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
