At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Buhtt sex?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
