oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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