At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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